Post by The Aquarian on Jul 17, 2005 3:17:10 GMT -8
This past game was a fairly good game. As many of you know, I've started a new character and Domani Giovanni (aka Yuki) has left the city to get itself pregnant again. I am playing a completely female character now -- not just an obcessive wraith inhabiting a Cainite.
So a question arises: What the fuck?
This will likely come as a surprise to most of you given that only a select few of you I talk to out of game. I am transgender. It's the reason why when I first came to SBC I introduced myself to everyone as "PJ," a gender neutral name, rather than my birth name. It's the reason why my past character was actually a ghost woman, and the reason why I am playing the character I am now rather than a guy. It's just part of who I am and... it's bad enough that I have to go to work in drag (ie dressed as a guy) the last thing I care to do is spend every weekend doing my hobby doing the same thing. It's a very... corrupting banal practice.
The reason I bring this up in the boards is because I had a great time tonight until Post Mortum. Then about halfway through things became pretty much wretched. I don't blame anyone for this. Less than a hand full of people present knew. It's a bit unreasonable for me to expect or hope that people around me will be sensitive when they have no clue that anything is going on. No less, having attention drawn to me and repetedly being refered to as "he," "he," and "he" again was just... foul and dirty feeling. This is especially true because with the context due to comments that were made my gender/sex was specifically highlighted. The only thing to do was internally grimmace, externally smile, and quietly whisper to myself "Ouch..."
So... what can you expect?
About two months ago I started HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy). My body is undergoing some pretty radical changes. You can expect that, so long as I'm still participating in the game, my features will become progressively more feminine, and my voice will begin to sound more and more like a prepubescent boy until it starts rounding itself out.
What am I asking?
I honestly don't feel I have a right to ask anyone (except for those whom I'm friends with out of game) anything because... this is "freaky shit" and most of you have come to think of me as a guy. What I can hope for however is that people will begin using pronouns more appropiate to my gender. That is "she" and "her." My common names among friends are either Justine (my first name) or Faith (my middle name). PJ really isn't used with anyone except passing aquaintences who knew me before I began actively transitioning. Seriously though, part of me would rather becalled "it" than he just because it's impersonal and cold.
Yes, I know I'm a freak, or as I say "Girl Abomination," but it is what I am at the moment. I am evolving, and while I know I am not completely "passable" as we say in the transgender community, this will become less and less the case as I continue to evolve. To my credit however, i do have to snicker at the number of people who did not recognize me until I began speaking. Consider how much I have physically changed since the last time I was at game. It's a sign of things to come.
Anyway, thank you for reading if you made it this far. Again, I don't feel as if I have a right to demand anything from most people; I just wanted to let people know what's going on... part of how I'm feeling in the sitation, and how I hope to be addressed in the future.
Belated apologies for spelling and gramatical mistakes. It's 4:16 AM. I'm bloody tired. No, I'm not going to run spell check.
Oh... and on a side note. I have access to the message boards now. Made a yahoo e-mail account specifically for this purpose tonight because for whatever reason the code wasn't making it to my other addresses.
Be well.
Justine.
So a question arises: What the fuck?
This will likely come as a surprise to most of you given that only a select few of you I talk to out of game. I am transgender. It's the reason why when I first came to SBC I introduced myself to everyone as "PJ," a gender neutral name, rather than my birth name. It's the reason why my past character was actually a ghost woman, and the reason why I am playing the character I am now rather than a guy. It's just part of who I am and... it's bad enough that I have to go to work in drag (ie dressed as a guy) the last thing I care to do is spend every weekend doing my hobby doing the same thing. It's a very... corrupting banal practice.
The reason I bring this up in the boards is because I had a great time tonight until Post Mortum. Then about halfway through things became pretty much wretched. I don't blame anyone for this. Less than a hand full of people present knew. It's a bit unreasonable for me to expect or hope that people around me will be sensitive when they have no clue that anything is going on. No less, having attention drawn to me and repetedly being refered to as "he," "he," and "he" again was just... foul and dirty feeling. This is especially true because with the context due to comments that were made my gender/sex was specifically highlighted. The only thing to do was internally grimmace, externally smile, and quietly whisper to myself "Ouch..."
So... what can you expect?
About two months ago I started HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy). My body is undergoing some pretty radical changes. You can expect that, so long as I'm still participating in the game, my features will become progressively more feminine, and my voice will begin to sound more and more like a prepubescent boy until it starts rounding itself out.
What am I asking?
I honestly don't feel I have a right to ask anyone (except for those whom I'm friends with out of game) anything because... this is "freaky shit" and most of you have come to think of me as a guy. What I can hope for however is that people will begin using pronouns more appropiate to my gender. That is "she" and "her." My common names among friends are either Justine (my first name) or Faith (my middle name). PJ really isn't used with anyone except passing aquaintences who knew me before I began actively transitioning. Seriously though, part of me would rather becalled "it" than he just because it's impersonal and cold.
Yes, I know I'm a freak, or as I say "Girl Abomination," but it is what I am at the moment. I am evolving, and while I know I am not completely "passable" as we say in the transgender community, this will become less and less the case as I continue to evolve. To my credit however, i do have to snicker at the number of people who did not recognize me until I began speaking. Consider how much I have physically changed since the last time I was at game. It's a sign of things to come.
Anyway, thank you for reading if you made it this far. Again, I don't feel as if I have a right to demand anything from most people; I just wanted to let people know what's going on... part of how I'm feeling in the sitation, and how I hope to be addressed in the future.
Belated apologies for spelling and gramatical mistakes. It's 4:16 AM. I'm bloody tired. No, I'm not going to run spell check.
Oh... and on a side note. I have access to the message boards now. Made a yahoo e-mail account specifically for this purpose tonight because for whatever reason the code wasn't making it to my other addresses.
Be well.
Justine.
You wouldn't be the first to call me that one. 
Whatever works. Chica is a new one on me, but I can get used to it. This is a little embarassing but ahhh... I'm having a dreadful time putting a name with your face. Have we ever interacted IC while playing either Amara or Domani?