Don't go visiting intentions

[Just Evan]

The moment in any discussion where one person begins telling the other what that other intends or means by their words or actions, the discussion is over and the argument has begun.

You can always express your perception of actions, but dictating to someone their own intentions is high treason in personal communication.

That shit flies fine on 4Chan but let's keep it off this board, eh?

[Mike Lohmann]

The problem with this, is there isnt a point said where "your perspective on the perceived intentions is incorrect, and here is why."

It is fine to be upset with someone for vocalizing their distaste with something perceived, but its a joke if heckles get raised, if they are right. Obviously, knowing if they are right or not is up the the individuals that take issue. The problem comes from one of my primary hatreds.

Duplicity between individuals, in real life settings. Even if that setting is over something that is a ooc part of a game, or something equally mundane, I was personally raised in a setting where it is a sign of weakness in the individual acting in duplicitous ways. This is a part of me... a grinding... nagging... hatred. Some will make the argument that duplicity is a key trait for survival, and even to an extent, success. But it is more damning, to and for me, to act as anything other than straight forward. I expect those I associate with, to be the same.

Why? The answer is obvious. If we have to lie, or talk out the sides of our faces... then what is really there to begin with? Trust is something easily lost, in this day and age. I would go so far as to say trust has been hard to have and keep in others, probably since the dawn of time. But in the interest in forward motion for society and life as a whole, being as open and clear as possible makes for strong links of communication. Saying one thing, then acting another, does noone any good in the end. And if an individual does this for their own gains, I find it to put that individual on a very low level as a being.

With that said, I find myself with a sometimes crystal clear insight into the actions and motives of others, by watching their behaviors. Watching the mannerisms. Watching closely for the moments when they show who they really are, when they think others are not paying attention. Perceptions are key, in this, and everyone has a different perspective on the things they see. This is not to say I am right, all the time. I WILL, however, say... when I am not emotionally attached to the subject, I see very clearly. I figure people out, and predict their movements before they even make them. I have done this to such a successful degree, at times, that the targeted individuals sometimes get very upset that they cannot hide their actions or intentions, then they lash out.

This is a reaction I expect, and accept.

Regardless, intentions CAN sometimes get confused. But on the other hand, sometimes they are very clear. A person has the right to be upset if they are accused of something, that is just false. But.. I personally feel an individual does not have the right to be upset, if the perceptions of their intentions is correct. At that point, they are just upset with getting found out. But then again, it is easy enough and happens frequently enough, where the perceptions are vocalized and no matter what is said or proven, the target will deny and deny and deny.

Again, this is expected.

Friendships, relationships, and even casual occurances between individuals are always at their healthiest when there is honesty without bounds. Unfortunately honest is in short supply, in this world, but in high demand.

There is a difference between dictating and expressing the opinion. It is easy to spin the situation to try to use the more harsh of the two words. It is more favorable to the individual arguing, to use words that we associate in our mind as harmful and hateful things to attempt to sway others onto the side we wish for them to take. It is a form of manipulation (another evil word, for the most part). But the harsher of the words used to describe the action, isnt what it is always about or even the intention.

As a matter of fact, telling someone they are dictating your own intentions, is essentially... doing the exact thing you are appearing to be upset about, right back to them.

It is all a circle, due to duplicity and not saying what a person means. I hate it. With the very core of my being. I hate on individuals that pride themselves on it, too. Sure, it is a gift. But it is a filthy gift, that should be left out of all things, other than ABSOLUTELY drastic situations. Personal gain, should not be listed as one of said situations. After all, if you cant achieve something without duplicity or manipulation, sounds like you were never really meant to have it to begin with. Its one thing to let that out during game, but among each other... it should really have no place. It -is- effective, but....the world would be a much happier and healthier place without it.