I have alot of anger. (Heavy rant, you have been warned)
Jan 31, 2014 9:40:47 GMT -8
Dimitri Vasilescu, Katie Hester, and 1 more like this
Post by Mike Lohmann on Jan 31, 2014 9:40:47 GMT -8
Do you get easily offended? Dont read this, if you do. Your choice.
I find myself with alot of anger and hate in my heart. Every time I look around, I see something going on that just makes me want to rage. The depths of this, seem endless. Maybe I am getting old, but the sheer mass of stupid shit that happens not just at game, between "friends".. but also in every day human life... is staggering.
I HATE your sense of entitlement. Noone owes you shit. Ever. Sure, you can work your ass off for things or ideas, and be successful. That doesnt mean anyone owes you shit, for the effort you put in. Does it DESERVE respect? Sure, depending on the subject. But that doesnt mean you are as important as you think you are, nor does it mean that respect is not still earned and cannot be stripped away the moment you do something attrocious.
I HATE your passive aggressive lifestyle. Your non confrontational, non commital, "don't confront me on my choices, bro" attitude. Anything and everything important, is worth fighting for. People, decisisions, ideas. Take a stand, or else those with higher agendas than you and the will to stand for them will run you over every time. And when they do... dont cry. You made the choice to let them walk all over you, I dont want to hear about how you didnt even try to fight for what you think is important. Even a small stand, means volumes for personal character. Life is confrontation. Every single moment. The air you breath, the chemicals you eat, the war with bateria in your body. Every second. Accept it. It doesnt mean you have to be hostile, but ffs.... do SOMETHING.
I hate your toxic duplicity. Say what you mean, mean what you say. You can attempt to lump this into passive aggresive context, but it is really just trecherous and dishonesty. It leads to misconceptions, misunderstandings, and miscommunication. Stop hiding your intentions, and make them clear. A little human decency. Stop trying to weasal yourself in and out of situations. It doesnt make you clever, it makes you an asshole and untrustworthy. Use your words as gently as you want, but dont lead people into waters by saying one thing, then drown them by meaning or doing another. It is a filthy practice and only hurts.
I hate your delicate sensabilities. Everyone is a fragile and unique butterfly, and everything is eggshells you cant step on. While some lines are not to be crossed, sometimes they are. It is YOUR responsibility to let an individual know when they have hit a bump that makes you uncomfortable. They arent mind readers, and running off to get others to help you with saying it... is dumb. Most people are good enough, that if you tell them "that sucks, please no to that" they will respect you and stop. Running and telling people, is only to be used for IF you tell them and they dont care. THAT is when you get others involved, to protect yourself. But if every single little thing is a trigger, then maybe you should remove yourself until you can work some of your shit out. Noone wants to be around people they cant feel comfortable being themselves with. That includes mannerisms, conversational topics, and banter. Humans can be vile creatures, but if you havent figured out if the people you have spent YEARS with are actually descent human beings.... you are doing life all wrong. If you dont like something about a person, then dont associate with them. Dont blame everyone around them, then accuse them all of false stuff.
I hate your clique pack tactics. It isnt a skill to gather a group of peole, and wield them like a weapon aimed at any of your goals. Especially when it causes alot of hurt, and is designed to. It is bullying, in it's finest form, when you rally troops to a cause. ESPECIALLY when those troops dont have all the information, or are willingly/unwillingly blinded to it. Pushing people around with devout followers, sent to do your bidding knowningly or not. Sharing information between friends, is one thing. Guiding them into 'war' over lies, and doing it knowingly, is bullshit. That ISNT what friends are for, and you arent a friend for doing it or allowing it to happen.
I hate your unwillingness to compromise. Say what you want about me, I will always talk and debate a subject and do my best to find compromise when then respect of doing the same, is provided towards me right back. Confrontation is important, but it is nothing without a willingness to find middle ground and work things out. This is so important for every day life, as well as between friends who all have different stances and views. Sure, we come together in life on some common likes and topics, but we are all very different. You dont have to overlook anything about that person, to stay thier friend. In fact, I dont recommend ever ignoring the worst qualities of a person. Always keep them in view, but trust in them enough, if they mean enough to you, to come to them with concerns and compromise for the sake of the friendship. Work it out, or at least be willing to.
I hate MY lack of trust and insecurities. I have nearly 0 trust in other human beings, because almost all of them show these poisonous traits. These things that break down communication and honesty between us all. I hate that I cant FULLY get close to anyone, without worrying they are going to attempt to (and usually do) hurt me at some point. Usually more deliberately than they are willing to admit to. I hate that the fear of abandonment echoes through me at all times. The best way to keep that fear at bay, is just to not get closed. I hate this mindset, but i work at fixing it every moment. I hate this weakness in me.
I hate that you mistake me for being apathetic. This is so far off the mark, it is almost funny. Sure, I can be an asshole, but there is never a moment I am an asshole, just to be an asshole. Everything happens for a reason, and if you think I dont consider your feelings... you are dead wrong. Some things in life are more important than how you personally feel on them. Some actions must be taken, regardless of how you feel of it, because it is required for one reason or another. I am perpetually empathetic. Ask those who know me. Actually know me. All I do is care. Passion, my friends. I have it in spades. I just understand that if you try to consider everyones feelings all the time, NOTHING gets done or resolved in a timely manner... if at all.
There are so many more things, but in my annoyance of this shit finally bringing down probably the longest good mood streak I have ever had in my life, as well as other compounding issues, I needed to let this out. Maybe I can get back on track of being happy now. Hopefully.
I find myself with alot of anger and hate in my heart. Every time I look around, I see something going on that just makes me want to rage. The depths of this, seem endless. Maybe I am getting old, but the sheer mass of stupid shit that happens not just at game, between "friends".. but also in every day human life... is staggering.
I HATE your sense of entitlement. Noone owes you shit. Ever. Sure, you can work your ass off for things or ideas, and be successful. That doesnt mean anyone owes you shit, for the effort you put in. Does it DESERVE respect? Sure, depending on the subject. But that doesnt mean you are as important as you think you are, nor does it mean that respect is not still earned and cannot be stripped away the moment you do something attrocious.
I HATE your passive aggressive lifestyle. Your non confrontational, non commital, "don't confront me on my choices, bro" attitude. Anything and everything important, is worth fighting for. People, decisisions, ideas. Take a stand, or else those with higher agendas than you and the will to stand for them will run you over every time. And when they do... dont cry. You made the choice to let them walk all over you, I dont want to hear about how you didnt even try to fight for what you think is important. Even a small stand, means volumes for personal character. Life is confrontation. Every single moment. The air you breath, the chemicals you eat, the war with bateria in your body. Every second. Accept it. It doesnt mean you have to be hostile, but ffs.... do SOMETHING.
I hate your toxic duplicity. Say what you mean, mean what you say. You can attempt to lump this into passive aggresive context, but it is really just trecherous and dishonesty. It leads to misconceptions, misunderstandings, and miscommunication. Stop hiding your intentions, and make them clear. A little human decency. Stop trying to weasal yourself in and out of situations. It doesnt make you clever, it makes you an asshole and untrustworthy. Use your words as gently as you want, but dont lead people into waters by saying one thing, then drown them by meaning or doing another. It is a filthy practice and only hurts.
I hate your delicate sensabilities. Everyone is a fragile and unique butterfly, and everything is eggshells you cant step on. While some lines are not to be crossed, sometimes they are. It is YOUR responsibility to let an individual know when they have hit a bump that makes you uncomfortable. They arent mind readers, and running off to get others to help you with saying it... is dumb. Most people are good enough, that if you tell them "that sucks, please no to that" they will respect you and stop. Running and telling people, is only to be used for IF you tell them and they dont care. THAT is when you get others involved, to protect yourself. But if every single little thing is a trigger, then maybe you should remove yourself until you can work some of your shit out. Noone wants to be around people they cant feel comfortable being themselves with. That includes mannerisms, conversational topics, and banter. Humans can be vile creatures, but if you havent figured out if the people you have spent YEARS with are actually descent human beings.... you are doing life all wrong. If you dont like something about a person, then dont associate with them. Dont blame everyone around them, then accuse them all of false stuff.
I hate your clique pack tactics. It isnt a skill to gather a group of peole, and wield them like a weapon aimed at any of your goals. Especially when it causes alot of hurt, and is designed to. It is bullying, in it's finest form, when you rally troops to a cause. ESPECIALLY when those troops dont have all the information, or are willingly/unwillingly blinded to it. Pushing people around with devout followers, sent to do your bidding knowningly or not. Sharing information between friends, is one thing. Guiding them into 'war' over lies, and doing it knowingly, is bullshit. That ISNT what friends are for, and you arent a friend for doing it or allowing it to happen.
I hate your unwillingness to compromise. Say what you want about me, I will always talk and debate a subject and do my best to find compromise when then respect of doing the same, is provided towards me right back. Confrontation is important, but it is nothing without a willingness to find middle ground and work things out. This is so important for every day life, as well as between friends who all have different stances and views. Sure, we come together in life on some common likes and topics, but we are all very different. You dont have to overlook anything about that person, to stay thier friend. In fact, I dont recommend ever ignoring the worst qualities of a person. Always keep them in view, but trust in them enough, if they mean enough to you, to come to them with concerns and compromise for the sake of the friendship. Work it out, or at least be willing to.
I hate MY lack of trust and insecurities. I have nearly 0 trust in other human beings, because almost all of them show these poisonous traits. These things that break down communication and honesty between us all. I hate that I cant FULLY get close to anyone, without worrying they are going to attempt to (and usually do) hurt me at some point. Usually more deliberately than they are willing to admit to. I hate that the fear of abandonment echoes through me at all times. The best way to keep that fear at bay, is just to not get closed. I hate this mindset, but i work at fixing it every moment. I hate this weakness in me.
I hate that you mistake me for being apathetic. This is so far off the mark, it is almost funny. Sure, I can be an asshole, but there is never a moment I am an asshole, just to be an asshole. Everything happens for a reason, and if you think I dont consider your feelings... you are dead wrong. Some things in life are more important than how you personally feel on them. Some actions must be taken, regardless of how you feel of it, because it is required for one reason or another. I am perpetually empathetic. Ask those who know me. Actually know me. All I do is care. Passion, my friends. I have it in spades. I just understand that if you try to consider everyones feelings all the time, NOTHING gets done or resolved in a timely manner... if at all.
There are so many more things, but in my annoyance of this shit finally bringing down probably the longest good mood streak I have ever had in my life, as well as other compounding issues, I needed to let this out. Maybe I can get back on track of being happy now. Hopefully.