Post by Barnaby Cuthbert on Aug 24, 2009 10:48:33 GMT -8
Honestly, this is a game.
A GAME
If someone is taking it too seriously, some time away is probably the best medicine.
(I speak from experience.)
I agree 100% with you Bill, sometimes time away is good for everyone at some point. There are some people that still have trouble figuring out that this is just a game, and I feel truly sad for these sorry people.
I'm not sure we have a lot of 'sorry people' here, just a lot of serious role-players that take the game's quality to heart and put a lot of effort, time and even $ into costuming, background, acting, custom props and cards and character sheets, etc. That's not even counting the hours of set-up, tear-down, prop shop runs, food preperation for events...
Not to mention that people tend to forget that the storytellers are players trying to give back to the game they love by telling stories for others and keeping the game going. I think too many people fall into the trap of looking at the storytellers of a large game like the Vampire sphere like a faceless cloud of Authority. They are players who were having a lot of fun playing, and they gave that up for a short time - not to lord over other players - but to give something back. Before I sound like I'm throwing stones here - I am guilty of this too. This game didn't used to treat it's storytellers like that. The differences between the first time I ran and the second time I ran are staggering. The lack of trust, and even sometimes of basic respect for the staff at this game has taken a real turn for the worse. Players that aren't willing to trust the staff look sometimes to find rules loopholes that allow them to do what they want IC. Sometimes staff respond to that by creating new house rules and new systems rather than going back to the book. Rules get more labrinthine, players get more slippery about them, emotionally charged clashes about rules become commonplace instead of rare, trust diminishes both ways, lather, rinse, repeat.
Both players and STs have a responsibility to try to play fair, but both are only human, and things are getting tense.
Anyway, that's all my personal opinion/theory on why the tensions have become so great around here of late, at least in the Vampire sphere, and by of late, I mean in the last three years or so.
All I can do is present what has worked for me, personally - When I have been really frustrated and mad, an occasional night away from game has certainly helped me appreciate it more and come back to issues with a clearer head. There *is* such a thing as burnout, for both players and storytellers, but it can be managed if either are willing to pull themselves away from the game for perhaps an occasional night every now and then, and allow yourself the latitude to see that as healthy, not a failure to deal. The act of leaving for a game doesn't have to be a 'stomp off angry' situation, and can instead be 'I am mad/stressed/not feeling heard, but I'm going to take a breath and take some me time so I can come at this clearly'.
- I am not talking about anyone else but me - my own methods for coping - if this doesn't work for you, that's cool too - I claim NO authority, moral or otherwise over anyone else's methods of dealing with anything - I am not finger waggling, judging, or anything like that, I am ONLY saying what has worked for me in the past - so well that I schedule things every now and then on purpose that are fun and interesting and not game-related.
If someone does choose to take a short break from game, it's my opinion that it's up to the other side of the conflicting opinion to respect that and allow that without looking down their nose at it IE, to let the other person act in a healthy-for-them way. It's also my opinion that if someone is going to need a break, they should do their best to express that as respectfully as possible.
We are all human, we all get mad sometimes, sometimes we say things we shouldn't, that we either don't mean or that serve no purpose other than to get a rise out of the person that happens to be standing in front of you at the moment that this anger surfaces. An apology would be a good idea in that situation, and if you can't bring yourself to make it sincere right off, come back to it when you can. Courtesy works, most of the time. These are all things we all know, and things I know I sometimes forget in the heat of the moment. If you have done the same and there's *something* useful to you above that can help you get perspective in some small way, cool, if not, feel free to ignore it.
I believe this community is worth respecting, and the people in it, while some individuals (myself included) can be a contentios lot at times, the people are what make this community more than just a pile of books and props and rules, and are worth respecting too, even if we fall to disagreement from time to time.