Hard Choices and Convictions

[One Type]

Guys,

Real Like now many people know I have had my head up my ass the last year or so.... I'm starting to come out of it, but in order to do that I had to take two jobs and fight to recover my life, my want in life, and my passion for it.

Many, many things are changing for me and it's happening rapidly. Lately though I haven't been able to come to game it is unfortunate but I'm at work during that time or just get off work and sleep before to get on the bus and not realize it's saturday because I'm working overnight.

There is no excuses in this life so I'm going to be frank and honest. Game as you know been stressful and I've been wanting to miss a few games lately so I'm not crying I'm not there. I've come home on Saturday's and look at the clock and know that I'm missing game and regret not being there but I know I have to work the next morning and not regretting sleeping through game.

My life is in shambles really, so it's going to take some dedication to my real life and I have to worry about myself not other people or game. So I'm going to be dropping game at this point and returning when I can actually play without worry that the next day comes and I have no money in my pockets and no sleep to show for it.

Love you all, but when you are rescuing yourself from yourself one must change your life for the better. Until I am able to make a change for the better and start working regularly game is off... I'm going to use game to reward not hinder. I'll miss you until then.

Thanks,
David Brasmer Player of Butch Cassidy

PS As far as my character is concerned I'll start a new one when I come back... Feel free to Tear Butch apart... I love rping him but I can't continue at this point to go up there every weekend on the bus until I am able to find a job and work it steady. And yes it's a matter of money keeping me from being there.

Thanks Again guys and hugs.

[Ikon]

Bullshit.

[Chenoa]

...Well, that doesn't seem like a very nice thing to say River, though I won't fault you on your stance. Your opinions are yours and yours alone, so I guess it's ok that you feel that way about David, though it does seem a bit mean...

As for David, I'm very sad that you won't be at game for a while. I understand how you feel too. I have two jobs now and I probably won't be getting any kind of day off from either of them for quite some time, meaning I'll be working every day of the week. I've always had to wake up early in the morning on Sunday after game to go to work too, and I know it can be tiresome not getting enough sleep (which is why I will sometimes leave a bit earlier then 2 to get home at a 'decent' hour). I understand the not having money thing too; I wouldn't have two jobs if I was financially stable. In any case, I hope everything unwinds for you and your able to set yourself right if that's what you need.

Take Care,
~*Fiory (Carissa)

[One Type]

River it's a fact of life that I need to straighten up and game is hard for me because my car doesn't work right now. I have to ride the busy from tacoma which means I don't get home until 6-7am.

I am having to work and sleep over the weekend and I'm only making right now about 340 a weekend per check. I have to pay for my car to get fixed as the drive line is busted and it's going to cost me 2850 and my rent per month is 500 so leaves me with 860 per month of income I can control. 190 for bus pass per month is 670 - food is 570 -cigarettes 470 I can save per month meaning if things don't change it's going to 8 months almost to save I need to change my life so I make more and I'm tired of not anyways.

I need to change my life. David

[Moira Phelan]

Wow, Look at River go. Are you always that articulate? He said everything in one word. That's amazing.

David, it is apparent you need to change your life. We don't care about the details, just that you do it. You know you can always ask for help too. I know how hard it is to get a good job and save it in this day and age. But it also means you don't go whining to the rest of the world how your situation sucks. Sell the damn car, and get a new one. It would be cheaper. Let someone else deal with the damn thing. Now quit complaining and explaining what you want to do, grow some balls, shut the hell up and go do it!

[Ikon]

Alright, I thought I was being pretty succinct with my previous post, however you seem to have missed the point I will clarify it for you. You once told me you liked that I didn't pull my punches and that I was honest and direct with you, keep that in mind.

1. I am not taking issue with your life becoming harder, money being tight, or your state of employment. Your life sucks I get it. The issue isn't you leaving game, it's HOW you are going about it, regarding issues left unsolved and your method of communicating that change.

2. You have caused in game repercussions due to your characters actions in blowing up the daycare and rending the Veil, regardless of the reason, you are leaving those repercussions unresolved. This in itself is causing OOC repercussions with people who feel that you could have handled the change with more responsibility and accountability.

3. You have the phone numbers of at least 5-10 people at game myself included and you never once called to say you could not make it, the only communication between your self and purple was when I called you and connected you to him. That was two weekends ago.

4. There was no response from you this weekend either, this is Negligent and inconsiderate to people who have been having to make up excuses which go against common sense in character!

5. You are obviously very good at making dramatic posts designed to gain sympathy for you, But where was the post asking for a ride to/from game so that you could wrap up your obligations? If I had known, I would have Given you money to help you show up and get home.

6. You have shown a propensity for getting together with the storytellers either online, or in person to further your characters agendas, yet no attempts were made to resolve things when those agendas do not go your way.

7. I know how much it sucks going to game wondering if and when someone who is out for your character in game is going to break a foot off in your ass. As a matter of fact given enough time it happens to almost everyone in a L.a.r.p. sooner or later, yet a surprising number of people see it through. Then there are people like you.

8. Yes this is harsh. I have stood by you when people called you a liar, a flake and other not so nice things (this too happens to almost everyone in a L.a.r.p. given enough time). I have defended you by telling people that you are not that way, that you can be relied upon. The way you executed your transition from game made me a liar. That pisses me off.

9. You have stated that we can "Feel free to tear Butch apart" This leads to complications in how the scene can be resolved since you have effectively relegated him to NPC status without talking to the ST's about it, this makes it most likely that this critical scene will be relegated to an insubstantial memory, for which we will have to make more IC excuses.

10. I will reiterate THIS is NOT about THE STATE of YOUR LIFE, THIS is about HOW YOU WENT ABOUT DROPPING GAME Until you can RETURN!

I debated whether or not to add the red to this post I decided to leave it in to lessen any chance you might misunderstand me.

I am not trying to be antagonistic, I am being direct, and honest. All this being said I wish you success in rescuing yourself, and getting your life together. Though it may sound like it there is no sarcasm to this wish, that would defeat the purpose of this entire post.

[One Type]

River,

I'm not going to continue this stupid argument here, if you want to call me then do or get a hold of me over IM. All I have to say is Shit happens and I can't be there during game time. Work prevents me from being there in short term (and if I did show up I wouldn't be in a condistion to wwork the next day or be coherent enough to be really rp) and lack of money is preventing me from going long term.

If or when I find another job I would be back with a vengance until then I'm stuck doing what I'm doing.

River, get over it but all the talking isn't going to change it. I'm sorry for the sucky situation if I didn't feel sorry about it I wouldn't be here typing to you and people know I feel bad but get over it. Try to help me figure out a way this can go down midweek but I can't do that either.

I tried to make the commitment for it but I was already asleep by the time you called and ben called me for a ride and I didn't even realize it was saturday that day to come and he called me at 9:30. I realized then I had to work the next day so I knew people would be pissed off at me but I had to work at 6am the next day. I rolled over going to sleep again and my phone didn't wake up to it when you called me at 10:51pm. Let me put something in red for you:

I didn't attempt to resolve things with the ST's because for the fact I told them the week last I was at game I might get hired on that I might not be able to come to game for awhile and told them I hope to be able to rp it out. If I can't I'm sorry that I'm unable to but I didn't know at the time if I wasn't going to be able to. I tried for the sake of my friends and game to commit to something I couldn't do and with my drive line being busted and me short on money and having to bale out of it because of my brother needing the money for his house and I needed a roof over my head! Now quit having this arguement over this forum with me and call or confront me over IM! GET OVER IT AND GET OVER THE FACT IT GOING TO MAKE YOUR LIFE A BIT HARDER BECAUSE I CAN'T PARTICIPATE IN GAME! Sometimes we have the luxury of exiting something smoothy but sometimes because of things go you have to drop everything and consintrate there. This situation is no difference and I would tell the STs the same thing. Deal with it I got better things to worry about is what I would tell them I can't deal with this now I hope you understand. I'm sorry but that is the way it is!!

Call me if you want to talk. Thanks
David

[Ikon]

OMG how on earth did you miss the point this time?! Since you chose this medium for this this is the one you get. Give other people a chance to see and comment on your responses, so you can't try and make this a you and me thing.

Once again I will say, It is not about you leaving game it is the way in which you did it.

[One Type]

The point of the thread was to announce I couldn't come to game but you chose to reply on this forum and drag it out here.

I didn't miss the point and your missing mine entirely as well. Your clarification is noted, I said I was sorry but you think this is a bullshit excuse for not getting things done with the game. I'm telling you it's not and the fact is you sat there and ranted at me and even numbered it stating it was a bullshit excuse telling people the way I exitted ghame well I'm telling you I wish it could have been different and I wanted it to.

I can't be there because of the state of my life and the time I have committed to working. I tried to commit and because of my hectic schedule I chose not to come when I forgot because my life is a bit hellish right now. When I can find different work then I'll be at game it means that I can be there without hurting myself.

I realize dropping it like a bad habit isn't the correct thing to do and I told you I tried but I couldn't and I'm choosing not to. I can't get my ic fairs in order because I can't be there for a death scene and because I can't be there to argue or prove myself icly. I had to make a choice to drop my character in the hands of the STs and let them work it out.

So let others see what is posted here I don't care. If people call me a fake or a flake for doing this I don't care river. But I'm not going to let you blast me without responding to it. When I say I want this off public forum I mean it and as a PA I suggest you respect me for it. If not I'm going to give ytou the proverbial FU and not post to this anymore.

Thank you,
David

[One Type]

Trinity is right about what she said about me. I know that why I 'm finally digging in with my heels and working things out. Quit doing the contract work and get a real job like the rest.

Some one told me a long time ago. Life is pain well it's painfully obvious I'm tired of the state of my current one so I'm bitching a bit about it. GEt over it, , I'l shut up and finally do something about it if you just give me the second to do it.

[Webmonkey]

Hi all - this was moved to the Rant board by me because it doesn't at this stage have much specifically to do with game and it has gotten pretty snarky OOC - I don't have much context for this or really know what it is all about, but I know snark when I skim it. It's fine to rant and snark if you like within reason, we just keep that to the Rant board. That said, feel free to continue this thread without further interruption.

- Da Webmonkey

[Athena Fire-in-Snow]

Thank you. Frankly, I agree. Whatever opinions I may have about what he did and how he did it, there's no need to tear into anyone that way. Sigh, make the best of it, and move on. I'm big on wrapping things up myself, but I've been in circumstances so stressy that talking to people became overwhelming and email or posting was the only communication medium that I could endure. Part of being an introvert, I suppose. So when someone else does something like this...well, I give them the benefit of the doubt. Why not? It doesn't hurt anyone to do so...and calling someone a liar or worse certainly isn't going to convince them to do what you want. I believe the quote is, in part, "the serenity to accept the things I cannot change". He made a decision, I cannot change it, no sense in going further.
We'll resolve things in game, maybe not as dramatically or intensely as people might like, but then that's never a guarantee in any case...

[Moira Phelan]

I think it's time for both of you to just drop it and walk away, since nothing is being solved by either of your posts. Agree to disagree, since you both are saying the same things at each other, and it is apparent it isn't going anywhere. Just let it go.

[Sarah]

David when were you a Player Advocate? If PA means something else then please clarify.

[One Type]

I was talking about River.- Sarah.

[The Mouth]

Uh, yikes. Tell y'all what, I think I can resolve this: I'll write up a suggestion rsolution to the NPC tha Butch is now, and then offer my services in running said NPC. This is the green light to wrap this up, and hopefully with more bang than whimper.

- Ben V.

[Moira Phelan]

It's already been handled, but you can sure come back and play!