Post by Athena Fire-in-Snow on Jan 17, 2010 3:39:30 GMT -8
Oh, yes. I’d meant to say it all right. But I just hadn’t thought it all the way through.... Hadn’t meant to do that at all.
Ravenna and I both ended up going to find James. I guess each of us thought we were going for the same reason, but it turned out...not so much. She was looking to complete something the gypsies had started, while I...I wanted to know who murdered...
Wait, was it the Gypsies who didn’t use the name of the dead? Or am I confusing them with someone else? Ah, best not to use his name, then, until I can confirm that. One major faux pas per night is my limit.
So...murdered the Silent Strider, then. I’d felt a bond with him, family, and hearing that he had been murdered in his sleep by a non-Wyrm-Tainted Garou, well, that didn’t leave a lot of suspects. In truth, I could only think of a few people who had both the ability and the motive...and all of them were people I trusted, at least to some extent. That scared me. We made a deal, James and I, and though he would not give me a name, James told me a little of the things that had been brought to bear, to see that the guilty one served a punishment and answered to the Fates for his actions. And by the end, I knew. And I thanked James for telling me who it was, even if he didn’t name a name.
In hindsight, I should have kept my fool mouth shut. Ravenna looked at me questioningly. Did she ask “Who?” out loud? I confess I don’t know, her eyes spoke louder than her voice ever could and I just don’t remember. All I could think of was that this somebody was someone Ravenna trusted, and I didn’t want her working with him blind. It scared me. I almost lost her once, I won’t lose her again.
So she asked, and I answered. I just didn’t stop to think about what that would mean.
Because of course, everything a Corax hears she must share. Truth is paramount, and the sharing of knowledge, no matter how painful. And the fact that it was very clear that this information, if shared, would cause more harm than good... Oh, that was a bad situation to put a friend in! Worse yet, I didn’t know, didn’t guess, that she’d made deals with him, not of the sort that she must have to make her that upset. Other Garou had disappointed her in the past, and she’d done nothing more than shrug and refuse to deal with them in the future. I hadn't known....
So now Ravenna was twice caught, having information that she must share, but would cause more harm than good should she do so. And it was information that caused difficulties with promises and deals she had made. I wanted to kick myself. None of this was what was intended. I would never hurt ‘Venna on purpose, but she seemed to have a big blind spot about the one who had murdered the Silent Strider, killed him in his sleep, judge and jury and executioner in one. I didn’t want my friend working blind. I never thought that maybe she’d been doing it intentionally...choosing not to see so she could benefit from the deals without having to see what else he was capable of, what else he did. That scares me still, a little...
So, there it is. I tried to tell her an unpleasant truth, and my pebble started an avalanche.
I tried to mend what I broke, pointed out that James never said I was right, that I could be wrong, but she just looked at me. She couldn’t deny the logic that had brought me there, any more than I. I tried to find ways, to apologize, to mitigate what I had done, to stand in the path of the avalanche, but there was no way I could.
And now...now I wait. I have done what I can, spoken to Jonas as one spirit-speaker to another, told him that the guilty party had been punished on a spiritual level, and thus pursuing Vasilyi for the crime was imprudent, as he was either guilty but punished, or innocent and unjustly accused. But I am not sure my words fell on fertile ground.
Ravenna’s pain tears at me. I’d meant her to know the truth...but I’d never meant to hurt her like this. But then, we can never know the full impact of our actions, and the best of motives can still lead to ruin.
I pray my need to protect my friend has not destroyed her.
Ravenna and I both ended up going to find James. I guess each of us thought we were going for the same reason, but it turned out...not so much. She was looking to complete something the gypsies had started, while I...I wanted to know who murdered...
Wait, was it the Gypsies who didn’t use the name of the dead? Or am I confusing them with someone else? Ah, best not to use his name, then, until I can confirm that. One major faux pas per night is my limit.
So...murdered the Silent Strider, then. I’d felt a bond with him, family, and hearing that he had been murdered in his sleep by a non-Wyrm-Tainted Garou, well, that didn’t leave a lot of suspects. In truth, I could only think of a few people who had both the ability and the motive...and all of them were people I trusted, at least to some extent. That scared me. We made a deal, James and I, and though he would not give me a name, James told me a little of the things that had been brought to bear, to see that the guilty one served a punishment and answered to the Fates for his actions. And by the end, I knew. And I thanked James for telling me who it was, even if he didn’t name a name.
In hindsight, I should have kept my fool mouth shut. Ravenna looked at me questioningly. Did she ask “Who?” out loud? I confess I don’t know, her eyes spoke louder than her voice ever could and I just don’t remember. All I could think of was that this somebody was someone Ravenna trusted, and I didn’t want her working with him blind. It scared me. I almost lost her once, I won’t lose her again.
So she asked, and I answered. I just didn’t stop to think about what that would mean.
Because of course, everything a Corax hears she must share. Truth is paramount, and the sharing of knowledge, no matter how painful. And the fact that it was very clear that this information, if shared, would cause more harm than good... Oh, that was a bad situation to put a friend in! Worse yet, I didn’t know, didn’t guess, that she’d made deals with him, not of the sort that she must have to make her that upset. Other Garou had disappointed her in the past, and she’d done nothing more than shrug and refuse to deal with them in the future. I hadn't known....
So now Ravenna was twice caught, having information that she must share, but would cause more harm than good should she do so. And it was information that caused difficulties with promises and deals she had made. I wanted to kick myself. None of this was what was intended. I would never hurt ‘Venna on purpose, but she seemed to have a big blind spot about the one who had murdered the Silent Strider, killed him in his sleep, judge and jury and executioner in one. I didn’t want my friend working blind. I never thought that maybe she’d been doing it intentionally...choosing not to see so she could benefit from the deals without having to see what else he was capable of, what else he did. That scares me still, a little...
So, there it is. I tried to tell her an unpleasant truth, and my pebble started an avalanche.
I tried to mend what I broke, pointed out that James never said I was right, that I could be wrong, but she just looked at me. She couldn’t deny the logic that had brought me there, any more than I. I tried to find ways, to apologize, to mitigate what I had done, to stand in the path of the avalanche, but there was no way I could.
And now...now I wait. I have done what I can, spoken to Jonas as one spirit-speaker to another, told him that the guilty party had been punished on a spiritual level, and thus pursuing Vasilyi for the crime was imprudent, as he was either guilty but punished, or innocent and unjustly accused. But I am not sure my words fell on fertile ground.
Ravenna’s pain tears at me. I’d meant her to know the truth...but I’d never meant to hurt her like this. But then, we can never know the full impact of our actions, and the best of motives can still lead to ruin.
I pray my need to protect my friend has not destroyed her.