Post by Lady Daniels on Jun 21, 2005 17:58:25 GMT -8
This post is about some personal drama in my life - it is meant for Vampire players - so if you don't give a rat's ass, don't read it.
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As stated, I hate surgery. I abhor it with a passion, being poked with needles [to which I am phobic], some which get to stay; being confined to a bed in a room so white as to give one migraines. Getting to wear those thin gowns in a place where the controlled temperature makes even the walls cold. Having to lie there and wait, anxiety a thorn in your throat, for the nurses to take you to the room where the surgeons await.
The last time I had surgery, I was but a girl. I had nightmares while under anesthesia, and woke screaming for my mother; waiting down the hall for permission to see me. I had an asthma attack due to the stress and pain, not knowing where I was, disoriented and more than a little pissed. I remember tearing the incision in the back of my throat, which caused problems all on its own from the bleeding. It took about three weeks for me to stop jumping at every sound I heard.
For the most part, I don't mind going to hospitals. My family is permeated with medical professionals, so I'm used to the weird ass terms and names you can't spell half the time. Hell, I've seen gallbladder surgery, knee scoping surgery and things like that. But now I have to go under the knife again, and all of the stress is coming back.
I say this to inform my fellow Vampire players that my snappish mood or distracted attitude is not because of them, or things they have done. Just understand that I am in a somewhat fragile state.
Please do not bombard me with questions. I will probably not answer them.
