Post by Wilhelm Opens-the-Way on May 31, 2010 12:09:29 GMT -8
I missed that purity.
I missed that rage.
And if you were wondering Visilli, Dieter, Eris, the elders who betrayed and broke my family with your pathetic, broken laws (those of you who aren't already dead) It was you who pushed me from that precipice.
I bet you were wondering why I did it?
I knew why.
I knew as I had my contacts procure the oil tanker car by the train tracks. I knew when I told them where Brenna would be. I knew when the tranquilizer pierced her throat, when she fell, head spinning with drugs onto the cold, wet pavement.
I remembered, and I knew.
I remembered your looks of disdain, like we were filth Eris. Your angry judgements of my love Dieter. I remembered how I ceased to exist in your eyes when I took a bolt meant for you Visili.
I remembered when I had someone feed you those special chocholates with a surprise inside.
Did they taste good Deiter? What about you Eris? I sweetened them so that you wouldn't guess the bitter pill you'd be swallowing.
Why?
I knew why when they dragged Brenna into the oil and as she woke, shoved a tube into her mouth so that she could breathe, but do nothing else... she could wait, until you returned Visili.
And then, I gave you a choice. A simple choice Visili. A judgement call.
A Garou or a Kinfolk. It should have been easy for one so traditional as yourself, and you chose as I thought you would. You let Brenna die. You ignored my instructions to cut her location from inside the chocholate-covered cherry in Eris's body and kill him for it, you ignored my instructions not to speak of it to others and instead, used your Pack, and your Gifts to try to be better than you are.
It isn't surprising, just disappointing. Sad really.
Why?
I knew why when my people connected the charges to the tanker. When I had them drop the detonator off where I could find it later. When I had them play the recording over the phone of your instructions.
You chose, and Brenna died. You chose and my family was broken. A fair trade for all of you.
When you found me on the water tower above the trainyard, your pet Ragabash destroyed the technology on my dead man's switch. I might have talked. I might have listened. She might have lived, but no, you let your packmate kill her Visili, same as if it was your own hand. Boom! Fire in the night! The sweet girl you loved, meaty chunks all over SODO and it was your own fault!
Why?
Pure, clean revenge. Live with that judgement you sonovabitch! Live with that...
These are the thoughts that keep me alive down here. Black thoughts for a black place. I let it fill me because I am hollow without you.
It hurts here Holly, down in the deep dark fire.
Everything is pain.
But it's all going to be okay. They who judged me think all I am is a Kinfolk. They think I'm dead, and I have no power. Well they are half right, because I know I'm dying. What is in my veins now... it isn't life, horror has no lifeforce but the strength granted to it by fear. But soon I'll have the power I need. All the power I need to protect others from foolish antiquated laws that hold no place for love.
Everything is love here. Love and pain.
Love is pain.
Pain is love.
I understand now. What is inside me now, he is power. Like you, I'm giving birth to something greater than myself. Soon our family will be complete, whole. I can't wait to show you what I've learned. Our family can be together again, without judgement, forever.
I missed that purity.
I missed that rage.
Hannibal is back baby, but I have a new name now, and soon, I'll show them all what power is, and in my brilliant, black reflection, they will see themselves.
"For they have sown the wind, and they shall reap the whirlwind...." Not guilty by reason of insanity, pure and simple. 
