Post by Red Moon on Jul 2, 2010 23:37:00 GMT -8
"You've changed, Lorien, and lately, I'm starting to not like you as much."
Though spoken sincerely, Pan's words had been harsh. Lorien ignored the chimera bouncing on either side of the trod curiously, as he searched his memory, trying futilely to remember when his lackadaisical humor had become a facade to hide his deleteriously overbearing demeanor.
"What do you mean? How have I changed?"
"It's like your attitude has become more intense. ... You're pushing your friends away, myself included."
Pushing people away. Lorien had noticed he's more frequently ignored, but he'd chalked it all up to his unworthy rival, Saevel's manipulation. For several months, he'd made Lorien an enemy of the county, reducing him to spying and stalking. He'd expected to birth a certain measure of distrust among his peers because of that. Even his brother, Rudy, had turned his back on him. but to hear it from Pan, his first real friend, who wasn't involved in that miserable web of misfortune, had been a wake-up call.
"Why?" The question vexed and perplexed him. He couldn't even remember why he'd become so distant in the first place. Lorien wandered, passing several familiar landmarks, all immersed in a thick fog uncharacteristic of a Seattle Summer, as his long memory also wandered, passing several former lives, all of them pitifully unfulfilling except for one. It was that time.
Lucian Françoise de La Baume Le Blanc de La Vallière was borne of noble heritage even before the chrysalis. Back then his talents were allocated more in riding and swordplay, than in general combat. Because of his skill, he was knighted before the summer king almost immediately, and sworn to a brotherhood of knights, all of House Fiona like himself. The spirit of challenge and true chivalry was still alive back then, and a man's oath was his bond. But this only made his treachery more real. In the end, his forsook his house and his brotherhood for the love of a Sidhe Countess, who's agenda had ultimately been to destroy the defenses of the freehold, as well as take the head of his brother, her former lover and holder of the fortress. Chivalry died for Lucian back then, and remained dead life after life until blood was paid in sacrifice and the name of oath-breaker was rescinded. Lorien had been born with a clean slate, but his memory of his own betrayal haunted him still, and this poisoned every relationship he encountered. Lorien was similar in every way to Lucian except one. He was cautious. He was too cautious.
Still, this change daunted him. He could not recall what had made him so aloof, or why he behaved so coldly as of late. Even now, the neglect of his peers angered him more intensely than he could rationalize. Had he surely become so jealous for recognition?
"You've gotten desperate, Lorien, and that's only pissed people off more."
"What a glorious mess I've made," the Baron reflected.
Chip shifted around, napping endearingly in the form of a white ermine, over the back of Lorien's neck. The indiscriminately affectionate chimera was deeply connected with him. Of this, Lorien was certain. Having no true shape, Chip resembled whatever pleased those around him. Dahleth met chimera very similar on his quests to become a true fae. He chose to absorb those aspects, becoming each of them, and each of them in turn, becoming Dahleth. But when they encountered the funny little shape-changer, protecting its hoard, in the narrow alleyway somewhere in the deep dreaming, Lorien recognized himself, not Dahleth, and befriended it instead. He'd never doubted his decision, even now, as he struggled to grasp that part of himself again.
But the fear still stabbed at his chest. If he failed to change, would he lose Chip as well? Or does changing mean saying goodbye to his only unconditional friend. Would he need to absorb Chip, as Dahleth had done his many aspects? For now, the disconcerted Eshu noble couldn't dismiss the possibility, however sick it made him feel.
The ground underneath Lorien's feet felt loose, and he realized he'd been traveling on a familiar dirt road. The fog from earlier seemed impossibly far away, as the bright sky shone comfortably on his bronze skin. None of his mortal seeming hid his fae mane, and his gold and brown feathers shimmered brilliantly in the midday sun. Around him was a warm summer field, spanning infinitely far in each direction. A medium victorian style house and a lone tree provided shade for a small table, set for two. Though it was far away, Lorien knew who he'd find sitting there, waiting for him, with a grin wider than his face. The master of the house. Rictus.
"Time to play house, Chip."
Though he'd half-dreaded his arrival at the Holiday House, a bold excitement lit his belly on fire. Whatever happened, he expected he'd have the time of his life. Lorien's Eshu feet itched and urged him forward.
"Remind me to grab a thank-you gift for Pan before we're out."
Though spoken sincerely, Pan's words had been harsh. Lorien ignored the chimera bouncing on either side of the trod curiously, as he searched his memory, trying futilely to remember when his lackadaisical humor had become a facade to hide his deleteriously overbearing demeanor.
"What do you mean? How have I changed?"
"It's like your attitude has become more intense. ... You're pushing your friends away, myself included."
Pushing people away. Lorien had noticed he's more frequently ignored, but he'd chalked it all up to his unworthy rival, Saevel's manipulation. For several months, he'd made Lorien an enemy of the county, reducing him to spying and stalking. He'd expected to birth a certain measure of distrust among his peers because of that. Even his brother, Rudy, had turned his back on him. but to hear it from Pan, his first real friend, who wasn't involved in that miserable web of misfortune, had been a wake-up call.
"Why?" The question vexed and perplexed him. He couldn't even remember why he'd become so distant in the first place. Lorien wandered, passing several familiar landmarks, all immersed in a thick fog uncharacteristic of a Seattle Summer, as his long memory also wandered, passing several former lives, all of them pitifully unfulfilling except for one. It was that time.
Lucian Françoise de La Baume Le Blanc de La Vallière was borne of noble heritage even before the chrysalis. Back then his talents were allocated more in riding and swordplay, than in general combat. Because of his skill, he was knighted before the summer king almost immediately, and sworn to a brotherhood of knights, all of House Fiona like himself. The spirit of challenge and true chivalry was still alive back then, and a man's oath was his bond. But this only made his treachery more real. In the end, his forsook his house and his brotherhood for the love of a Sidhe Countess, who's agenda had ultimately been to destroy the defenses of the freehold, as well as take the head of his brother, her former lover and holder of the fortress. Chivalry died for Lucian back then, and remained dead life after life until blood was paid in sacrifice and the name of oath-breaker was rescinded. Lorien had been born with a clean slate, but his memory of his own betrayal haunted him still, and this poisoned every relationship he encountered. Lorien was similar in every way to Lucian except one. He was cautious. He was too cautious.
Still, this change daunted him. He could not recall what had made him so aloof, or why he behaved so coldly as of late. Even now, the neglect of his peers angered him more intensely than he could rationalize. Had he surely become so jealous for recognition?
"You've gotten desperate, Lorien, and that's only pissed people off more."
"What a glorious mess I've made," the Baron reflected.
Chip shifted around, napping endearingly in the form of a white ermine, over the back of Lorien's neck. The indiscriminately affectionate chimera was deeply connected with him. Of this, Lorien was certain. Having no true shape, Chip resembled whatever pleased those around him. Dahleth met chimera very similar on his quests to become a true fae. He chose to absorb those aspects, becoming each of them, and each of them in turn, becoming Dahleth. But when they encountered the funny little shape-changer, protecting its hoard, in the narrow alleyway somewhere in the deep dreaming, Lorien recognized himself, not Dahleth, and befriended it instead. He'd never doubted his decision, even now, as he struggled to grasp that part of himself again.
But the fear still stabbed at his chest. If he failed to change, would he lose Chip as well? Or does changing mean saying goodbye to his only unconditional friend. Would he need to absorb Chip, as Dahleth had done his many aspects? For now, the disconcerted Eshu noble couldn't dismiss the possibility, however sick it made him feel.
The ground underneath Lorien's feet felt loose, and he realized he'd been traveling on a familiar dirt road. The fog from earlier seemed impossibly far away, as the bright sky shone comfortably on his bronze skin. None of his mortal seeming hid his fae mane, and his gold and brown feathers shimmered brilliantly in the midday sun. Around him was a warm summer field, spanning infinitely far in each direction. A medium victorian style house and a lone tree provided shade for a small table, set for two. Though it was far away, Lorien knew who he'd find sitting there, waiting for him, with a grin wider than his face. The master of the house. Rictus.
"Time to play house, Chip."
Though he'd half-dreaded his arrival at the Holiday House, a bold excitement lit his belly on fire. Whatever happened, he expected he'd have the time of his life. Lorien's Eshu feet itched and urged him forward.
"Remind me to grab a thank-you gift for Pan before we're out."
