Post by Sheila Cooper on Dec 5, 2010 19:12:13 GMT -8
Personal Log, Sheila Cooper, Knight of House Dougal. Sunday, December 5th, 3:30am.
Number of days since leaving Las Vegas: 12. Number of times I've been rained on in those 12 days: 6. Current Temperature: 35 degrees Farenheit. Sunset last night: 4:19 pm. Sunrise tomorrow: 7:41 am.
It is, as usual, cold, dark, and wet. I hate this fucking weather.
I'm not sure I still hate coming here, though. I kind of like Seattle, in spite of myself. The city has a good vibe, there's a lot of places I could fit in and find Glamour. One hopes. And it's different, and I was totally in a rut in Vegas... and on top of everything else, Mat finally took me with him, so I don't think I'd entirely care where I was, even the North Pole. Dear Heisenberg, I'm going fucking soft.
I am making friends too, after a fashion. Whatever anyone else thinks of Baron Ulrim, I rather like him. It's really odd to be in the middle of a bunch of frikkin' trolls as my Dougal housemates, but hey, they're not bad with the crafting. Maybe it'll be fun. And I have projects already! Hahaha. Waaay too funny. Ulrim'll be a blast to screw with, if nothing else.
This war zone shit though? Ugh. I am so incredibly not down with this. I'll deal, but I'm supposed to be R&D or logistics, behind the lines, building shit for others to take to bomb the living shit out of the banal asses that are our enemies. I mean, how many fae died recently here? Are we sure the place isn't just frakkin' cursed?
I'm not sure I want the answer to that one.
Lots and lots to study but I'm not sure anyone's really willing to work with me on that. So I'm glad of my own place, to set up a laboratory in the extra room. Maybe it's this "war" thing, but nobody seems to give much of a shit about the more intricate workings of Glamour here. Annoying, sure, and makes me pretty useless to them aside from the gadget-making, but enh. I want to be useful, but I don't need their approval, and anyway, who cares what a bunch of sidhe think? Sticks up their asses.
Okay, my language is too clean even when I'm writing. I need to get over this. The subject I keep avoiding, because it's the glaring elephant in the corner that I'd really, really rather not think about because I have other fucking things to worry about besides a man. Who annoys the shit out of me, and makes stupid-ass decisions, and I really ought to thank Caleb for hitting him because holy shit, what was he thinking?
No, that's not fair. I know what he was thinking, and it's not really Mat's fault. Fucking Erathius, or some version of him from fuck-knows-how-long-ago popping up and making an ass of himself for... who knows what reason. I don't understand the inner workings of the Eshu brain. Anyway, Mat said he wouldn't have said the whole "I want to swear fealty" shit and I believe him. If I could find a way to block Erathius from popping up and taking over I would. Whatever ties we've had before, I want Mat, my Matty, not... ugh.
I hate that most everyone here seems to hate him, or at least think he's a dumbass. I hate that this stress and this fear is making him erratic. He's not an idiot, he's not a dumbass, he's good at what he does, but how is he supposed to prove himself with all this shit going on? I don't blame the locals for not giving him a chance, given the situation, I just wish they would. He could be so much help, and I don't want to be attached to a pariah for months. It's annoying.
Okay, I'm way way biased, granted. And so much of this is my own damn fault that I don't want to think about it. None of this would've happened if I didn't keep... pushing. Why the hell do I push? Why can't I just be happy with what I have? And what I have is so great. The Oath (and a big major one too, holy crap!!!) and a ring, he's buying me a ring and it makes me soooo ridiculously happy. And I just know I'll find something wrong with it all soon enough.
Fuck this nocker shit. Some days, I'd give anything to be a troll. Or even a sidhe. I'd be a fucking gorgeous sidhe, and nobody would question that. They'd love me for it. Fuckers.
I need to try to sleep. Way too fucking much going on to not sleep. But... I don't like what winds up behind my eyes. And I do need to get the lab set up. And there's chimera popping in and I wonder if they'd be different here...
Ahh, screw sleep. More important things to do. I'd better switch out to the professional log and take some notes on the differences in Glamour here, compared to Las Vegas. I hope Mat doesn't mind me taking up the entire extra room. I've lost a whole two weeks and I'm so close to figuring out how this chimerical draw works...
End log
Number of days since leaving Las Vegas: 12. Number of times I've been rained on in those 12 days: 6. Current Temperature: 35 degrees Farenheit. Sunset last night: 4:19 pm. Sunrise tomorrow: 7:41 am.
It is, as usual, cold, dark, and wet. I hate this fucking weather.
I'm not sure I still hate coming here, though. I kind of like Seattle, in spite of myself. The city has a good vibe, there's a lot of places I could fit in and find Glamour. One hopes. And it's different, and I was totally in a rut in Vegas... and on top of everything else, Mat finally took me with him, so I don't think I'd entirely care where I was, even the North Pole. Dear Heisenberg, I'm going fucking soft.
I am making friends too, after a fashion. Whatever anyone else thinks of Baron Ulrim, I rather like him. It's really odd to be in the middle of a bunch of frikkin' trolls as my Dougal housemates, but hey, they're not bad with the crafting. Maybe it'll be fun. And I have projects already! Hahaha. Waaay too funny. Ulrim'll be a blast to screw with, if nothing else.
This war zone shit though? Ugh. I am so incredibly not down with this. I'll deal, but I'm supposed to be R&D or logistics, behind the lines, building shit for others to take to bomb the living shit out of the banal asses that are our enemies. I mean, how many fae died recently here? Are we sure the place isn't just frakkin' cursed?
I'm not sure I want the answer to that one.
Lots and lots to study but I'm not sure anyone's really willing to work with me on that. So I'm glad of my own place, to set up a laboratory in the extra room. Maybe it's this "war" thing, but nobody seems to give much of a shit about the more intricate workings of Glamour here. Annoying, sure, and makes me pretty useless to them aside from the gadget-making, but enh. I want to be useful, but I don't need their approval, and anyway, who cares what a bunch of sidhe think? Sticks up their asses.
Okay, my language is too clean even when I'm writing. I need to get over this. The subject I keep avoiding, because it's the glaring elephant in the corner that I'd really, really rather not think about because I have other fucking things to worry about besides a man. Who annoys the shit out of me, and makes stupid-ass decisions, and I really ought to thank Caleb for hitting him because holy shit, what was he thinking?
No, that's not fair. I know what he was thinking, and it's not really Mat's fault. Fucking Erathius, or some version of him from fuck-knows-how-long-ago popping up and making an ass of himself for... who knows what reason. I don't understand the inner workings of the Eshu brain. Anyway, Mat said he wouldn't have said the whole "I want to swear fealty" shit and I believe him. If I could find a way to block Erathius from popping up and taking over I would. Whatever ties we've had before, I want Mat, my Matty, not... ugh.
I hate that most everyone here seems to hate him, or at least think he's a dumbass. I hate that this stress and this fear is making him erratic. He's not an idiot, he's not a dumbass, he's good at what he does, but how is he supposed to prove himself with all this shit going on? I don't blame the locals for not giving him a chance, given the situation, I just wish they would. He could be so much help, and I don't want to be attached to a pariah for months. It's annoying.
Okay, I'm way way biased, granted. And so much of this is my own damn fault that I don't want to think about it. None of this would've happened if I didn't keep... pushing. Why the hell do I push? Why can't I just be happy with what I have? And what I have is so great. The Oath (and a big major one too, holy crap!!!) and a ring, he's buying me a ring and it makes me soooo ridiculously happy. And I just know I'll find something wrong with it all soon enough.
Fuck this nocker shit. Some days, I'd give anything to be a troll. Or even a sidhe. I'd be a fucking gorgeous sidhe, and nobody would question that. They'd love me for it. Fuckers.
I need to try to sleep. Way too fucking much going on to not sleep. But... I don't like what winds up behind my eyes. And I do need to get the lab set up. And there's chimera popping in and I wonder if they'd be different here...
Ahh, screw sleep. More important things to do. I'd better switch out to the professional log and take some notes on the differences in Glamour here, compared to Las Vegas. I hope Mat doesn't mind me taking up the entire extra room. I've lost a whole two weeks and I'm so close to figuring out how this chimerical draw works...
End log