Post by Wolf on May 1, 2013 18:55:57 GMT -8
All I want normal fucking day. So it starts out okay, I get some demon taint washed out of me by a man of the cloth. Then I get home and Snakes starts grilling me about my God, I’ve known this God guy for like days now and all of a sudden I’m like Westboro Baptist Church. I don’t know how many Gods there are man, One I think?!? Next the kid starts in on how I shot him with a bean bag round after my innocent little girl says he knocked her up. I ALREADY APOLOGIZED MAN WHAT DO YOU WANT A FUCKING GET WELL SOON CARD?
So now on to the fun stuff the kid starts showing off Hitler’s music box with a vampire heart inside it. He’s acting like that little freak and his ring from that flick, and that got me thinking….. From Dusk Till Dawn, when that dude stabs the vampire’s heart with a pencil and it fucking dies. So I do it I stab the fucking heart…..AND THE KID CUTS MY FUCKING HAND OFF WITH A LIGHTNING DAGGER!
The next few minutes are a fucking blur, but the next thing I know there are ghosts dying, My P.I.’s leg is in my freezer, Kid’s old lady may be possessed, Snake’s is milking what must be a sprained ankle , and me and the kid are just fine…
Over the last few months:
Nymphomaniac ejaculated all over my house,
Some assholes break my windows to gain entry,
A bunch of Asians kick down my door and shoot up my place,
A dude stomps a hole in my floor,
A luck curse causes the walls to fall down,
A new acolyte teleports my door to hell,
A FUCKING RAPTOR AND SOME FAE FUCK UP MY HARDWOOD FLOORS,
And lastly ghosts are making mischief like talking to people in their heads carving letters on the chests of people and making innocent people fight like cats and dogs.
All I need is one fucking day of peace.
So now on to the fun stuff the kid starts showing off Hitler’s music box with a vampire heart inside it. He’s acting like that little freak and his ring from that flick, and that got me thinking….. From Dusk Till Dawn, when that dude stabs the vampire’s heart with a pencil and it fucking dies. So I do it I stab the fucking heart…..AND THE KID CUTS MY FUCKING HAND OFF WITH A LIGHTNING DAGGER!
The next few minutes are a fucking blur, but the next thing I know there are ghosts dying, My P.I.’s leg is in my freezer, Kid’s old lady may be possessed, Snake’s is milking what must be a sprained ankle , and me and the kid are just fine…
Over the last few months:
Nymphomaniac ejaculated all over my house,
Some assholes break my windows to gain entry,
A bunch of Asians kick down my door and shoot up my place,
A dude stomps a hole in my floor,
A luck curse causes the walls to fall down,
A new acolyte teleports my door to hell,
A FUCKING RAPTOR AND SOME FAE FUCK UP MY HARDWOOD FLOORS,
And lastly ghosts are making mischief like talking to people in their heads carving letters on the chests of people and making innocent people fight like cats and dogs.
All I need is one fucking day of peace.