Post by J on Jul 14, 2015 23:22:10 GMT -8
She didn't know it would be this complicated.
Or maybe I really am just stupid.
Joleen stared at the ceiling of their humble but sufficiently sun-proofed apartment from the couch where she slept each day. The couch had been dragged off a nearby street corner, and was very likely older than her. But then, Joleen was getting pretty used to everything being older than her...
Jim was definitely sound asleep in the other room by now. She could not imagine any such social regrets or enigmas from the previous evening ever keeping him up in the morning. Despite the terrible choices he makes with seemingly increased frequency, he not only gets away with all of them, but manages to charm the pants off whatever high-status elder he happened to be chatting with at the time. And he never worries that it might grow old, or he might really say the wrong thing to the wrong person, or he might get himself, and her, into serious trouble.
Of course, on the other hand, Joleen knew she owed basically everything that has happened to her in Seattle, since Michigan really, to Jim Baron's trademark scrappy charm and Born to Run attitude, her very survival not the least of that. Maybe his choices weren't so terrible after all….
But that's not how this works! ...right? You can't be that reckless and expect to survive long. You can't just dive in head first with everything- you have to play the game. Or was she missing something? Maybe a little bit of the right kind of recklessness was exactly what a proper kindred needs to succeed in the city. Did the rules really matter all that much? Do some rules not really matter all that much? Is it just that the likes of us aren’t important enough for anyone to really care what we say or do, they just have to put up a show sometimes to keep us from getting too out of line?
Maybe Jim got that. That's the only explanation she could fathom for why, not one month after getting a very stern talking to by The Seneschal for being a little too generous with his blood, he would offer up a vial to the Malkavians just like that for a minor boon and a smile- he gets a kick out of them so how dangerous could they really be right?
Oh and by the way, no one but us know about this and no one else needs to know, so why don't you immediately go and tell Amani, Jim!
But of course, somehow it turns out to not actually be a big deal- or at least not yet. God knows what those freaks want with Jim's blood and who else might find out about it. But no, I'm just being a buzzkill…
Joleen rolled over, hoping annoyance would be an easier emotion for sleep to overcome than worry.
He wants to leave.
Instead of sleep, her Beast found her.
You shouldn't have made him come here. He doesn't belong in this world. He needs to be free. He would be better off if he'd never found you at that truck stop- if you’d died alone in the woods a long time ago. He’d be having so much fun…
She rolled back onto her back, as if to turn away from The Beast.
The next thought that found her almost made her laugh- despite his longings for the open road, Jim's effortless pluck had earned him the privilege (or punishment?) of being the Prince's new stick-boy. She secretly hoped for the latter- maybe just a touch of public humiliation might put him in his place where he can keep himself safe. Of course, he didn't see it this way, and took to the task with grace and pride. Surprise, surprise.
Her smile quickly faded as her thoughts turned back to the trial that night.
She hadn't met Charlie, hadn't even heard of her until earlier that night when The Sheriff interrupted Joleen's chat with Sid to command him to find her.
She was a Brujah...she owned some kind of establishment with human customers...she slaughtered 6 children and 2 innocent bystanders...
Joleen wondered how long it would be until she started to view the slaughter of children as nothing more than "bad business" and a possible Masquerade breach.
...it was self-defense...she called the right people... she couldn't help it, it's in her blood…
She wondered if it was a good idea to get friendly with the other Brujah and agree to follow them on a dangerous covert mission. She wondered how lucky she was that that mission fell through.
...she said Fuck the Camarilla.
Not knowing what to expect but very much fearing she would be witnessing her first Kindred execution, Joleen was pretty sure that being deemed "unwise" was a merciful punishment, whatever the actual implications of that might be. Charlie disagreed. She still said "Fuck the Camarilla." She spat their mercy right back in their faces. She threw away her home, her clan, her duty, her whole life (or whatever they call what we do) over hot bloodedness and pride. Why?
How?
Her heavy eyelids gave way, and the scene replayed in her head.
Fuck the Camarilla! Take all my status! I’m done with this bullshit!
Joleen stood paralyzed the whole time, listening but barely taking in the judgements of her fellow Kindred. She silently begged The Prince not to ask her own opinion, only later considering how ridiculous a notion that even was. She only just managed to turn and step away when things threatened to get violent, but this time, when she looked back, it was Jim in the chair, bound and gagged by The Sheriff's phantom tentacles, struggling like hell to get free. They were all moving slowly towards him- The Prince, Amani, Axel, wielding his syringe, Elizabeth, with her sword, The Seneschal, Jim’s boss the Setite, Amelia Devlin-Price, the Marquis and Clementine, shaking violently, Lord Vesuvius, Ashes, Sid, even Ruby, and of course, William, claws bared and a look of pure delight on his face.
Jim managed to free his mouth.
Fuck the Camarilla! Fuck all of you and all of your bullshit!
His gaze sharpened and steadied on Joleen’s.
Why did you make me come here? Because you wanted to see the fucking Space Needle! We were supposed to look out for each other but you brought me here and I’m suffocating! I’m dying and it’s ALL BECAUSE OF YOU!
The tentacles made their way back over his mouth to drown him out before the shadow swallowed him whole.
Joleen’s eyes shot open. The birds were chirping outside.
You should have let me die, Jim. You never should have fed me your blood. Now I’ll never let you be free.
Joleen had gotten used to being made to feel young. She wondered if she would ever feel like an adult.
Or maybe I really am just stupid.
Joleen stared at the ceiling of their humble but sufficiently sun-proofed apartment from the couch where she slept each day. The couch had been dragged off a nearby street corner, and was very likely older than her. But then, Joleen was getting pretty used to everything being older than her...
Jim was definitely sound asleep in the other room by now. She could not imagine any such social regrets or enigmas from the previous evening ever keeping him up in the morning. Despite the terrible choices he makes with seemingly increased frequency, he not only gets away with all of them, but manages to charm the pants off whatever high-status elder he happened to be chatting with at the time. And he never worries that it might grow old, or he might really say the wrong thing to the wrong person, or he might get himself, and her, into serious trouble.
Of course, on the other hand, Joleen knew she owed basically everything that has happened to her in Seattle, since Michigan really, to Jim Baron's trademark scrappy charm and Born to Run attitude, her very survival not the least of that. Maybe his choices weren't so terrible after all….
But that's not how this works! ...right? You can't be that reckless and expect to survive long. You can't just dive in head first with everything- you have to play the game. Or was she missing something? Maybe a little bit of the right kind of recklessness was exactly what a proper kindred needs to succeed in the city. Did the rules really matter all that much? Do some rules not really matter all that much? Is it just that the likes of us aren’t important enough for anyone to really care what we say or do, they just have to put up a show sometimes to keep us from getting too out of line?
Maybe Jim got that. That's the only explanation she could fathom for why, not one month after getting a very stern talking to by The Seneschal for being a little too generous with his blood, he would offer up a vial to the Malkavians just like that for a minor boon and a smile- he gets a kick out of them so how dangerous could they really be right?
Oh and by the way, no one but us know about this and no one else needs to know, so why don't you immediately go and tell Amani, Jim!
But of course, somehow it turns out to not actually be a big deal- or at least not yet. God knows what those freaks want with Jim's blood and who else might find out about it. But no, I'm just being a buzzkill…
Joleen rolled over, hoping annoyance would be an easier emotion for sleep to overcome than worry.
He wants to leave.
Instead of sleep, her Beast found her.
You shouldn't have made him come here. He doesn't belong in this world. He needs to be free. He would be better off if he'd never found you at that truck stop- if you’d died alone in the woods a long time ago. He’d be having so much fun…
She rolled back onto her back, as if to turn away from The Beast.
The next thought that found her almost made her laugh- despite his longings for the open road, Jim's effortless pluck had earned him the privilege (or punishment?) of being the Prince's new stick-boy. She secretly hoped for the latter- maybe just a touch of public humiliation might put him in his place where he can keep himself safe. Of course, he didn't see it this way, and took to the task with grace and pride. Surprise, surprise.
Her smile quickly faded as her thoughts turned back to the trial that night.
She hadn't met Charlie, hadn't even heard of her until earlier that night when The Sheriff interrupted Joleen's chat with Sid to command him to find her.
She was a Brujah...she owned some kind of establishment with human customers...she slaughtered 6 children and 2 innocent bystanders...
Joleen wondered how long it would be until she started to view the slaughter of children as nothing more than "bad business" and a possible Masquerade breach.
...it was self-defense...she called the right people... she couldn't help it, it's in her blood…
She wondered if it was a good idea to get friendly with the other Brujah and agree to follow them on a dangerous covert mission. She wondered how lucky she was that that mission fell through.
...she said Fuck the Camarilla.
Not knowing what to expect but very much fearing she would be witnessing her first Kindred execution, Joleen was pretty sure that being deemed "unwise" was a merciful punishment, whatever the actual implications of that might be. Charlie disagreed. She still said "Fuck the Camarilla." She spat their mercy right back in their faces. She threw away her home, her clan, her duty, her whole life (or whatever they call what we do) over hot bloodedness and pride. Why?
How?
Her heavy eyelids gave way, and the scene replayed in her head.
Fuck the Camarilla! Take all my status! I’m done with this bullshit!
Joleen stood paralyzed the whole time, listening but barely taking in the judgements of her fellow Kindred. She silently begged The Prince not to ask her own opinion, only later considering how ridiculous a notion that even was. She only just managed to turn and step away when things threatened to get violent, but this time, when she looked back, it was Jim in the chair, bound and gagged by The Sheriff's phantom tentacles, struggling like hell to get free. They were all moving slowly towards him- The Prince, Amani, Axel, wielding his syringe, Elizabeth, with her sword, The Seneschal, Jim’s boss the Setite, Amelia Devlin-Price, the Marquis and Clementine, shaking violently, Lord Vesuvius, Ashes, Sid, even Ruby, and of course, William, claws bared and a look of pure delight on his face.
Jim managed to free his mouth.
Fuck the Camarilla! Fuck all of you and all of your bullshit!
His gaze sharpened and steadied on Joleen’s.
Why did you make me come here? Because you wanted to see the fucking Space Needle! We were supposed to look out for each other but you brought me here and I’m suffocating! I’m dying and it’s ALL BECAUSE OF YOU!
The tentacles made their way back over his mouth to drown him out before the shadow swallowed him whole.
Joleen’s eyes shot open. The birds were chirping outside.
You should have let me die, Jim. You never should have fed me your blood. Now I’ll never let you be free.
Joleen had gotten used to being made to feel young. She wondered if she would ever feel like an adult.
