Post by Denise on Feb 23, 2012 21:43:47 GMT -8
I’ve sat here for hours looking at this tent wall. I’ve started to hate the color green and I wish I was out of this rain back in California where I belong. It’s been years since I thought I belonged there. Why think that now? Then again it’s been years since I’ve been hunted by anything and now that this feeling has come back I just want hide. It’s hard to hide when you don’t know who wants you dead or why... ...
I sit here next to Visili staring at a tree bored to death. Who knew I’d wish to be listen to Brenna’s kid scream while I talk to her about my work day. I took such freedom for granted but I feel like a pet following garou around heeling beside them like tradition says I should. I’ll joke with Brenna for days but being a slave scares me. I’m stuck here on this new bawn because at least here I should feel safe. But nothing can make that image go away... ...
I lay here alone staring at this fire unable to sleep anymore thinking again and again what it feels like to die. But it’s not like them; I watched it and when it happens I don’t come back. That’s all there is just the pain and the look on his face. The blood falling as his bites down, all I can feel is rage the need to kill. I will find him and intent is just as bad as murdering me. Visili wants him alive and so do I. I want to make him feel the pain I did, I want to listen to my brother make him beg for forgiveness knowing he’ll never find it... ...
I open my eyes at the embers slowly fading. I can’t even escape sleep for that long. If he is like me though am I killing a connection to something I should be a part of? How did he find me? Are there more of us in this place? Maybe he is something different; just a murderer; but I want that connection with people like me. Because like someone said, they aren’t like me at all. The people I love are garou and everyone else in the world knows a lie.
I sit here next to Visili staring at a tree bored to death. Who knew I’d wish to be listen to Brenna’s kid scream while I talk to her about my work day. I took such freedom for granted but I feel like a pet following garou around heeling beside them like tradition says I should. I’ll joke with Brenna for days but being a slave scares me. I’m stuck here on this new bawn because at least here I should feel safe. But nothing can make that image go away... ...
I lay here alone staring at this fire unable to sleep anymore thinking again and again what it feels like to die. But it’s not like them; I watched it and when it happens I don’t come back. That’s all there is just the pain and the look on his face. The blood falling as his bites down, all I can feel is rage the need to kill. I will find him and intent is just as bad as murdering me. Visili wants him alive and so do I. I want to make him feel the pain I did, I want to listen to my brother make him beg for forgiveness knowing he’ll never find it... ...
I open my eyes at the embers slowly fading. I can’t even escape sleep for that long. If he is like me though am I killing a connection to something I should be a part of? How did he find me? Are there more of us in this place? Maybe he is something different; just a murderer; but I want that connection with people like me. Because like someone said, they aren’t like me at all. The people I love are garou and everyone else in the world knows a lie.