Epilogue: Heaven [April's Final Story]
Oct 14, 2013 13:21:09 GMT -8
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Post by Julie on Oct 14, 2013 13:21:09 GMT -8
He held her tightly, the smile playing at the corners of his mouth with wild abandon. Though there was a dark desire burning beneath the glee. He wanted her to need him, wanted her to need nothing more than to come back to him. And perhaps, though she doubted it, that would be come the case. She knew, after all, exactly what the burning desire felt like.
It was why she stood here now, charming her way through a conversation that she had no real interest in. Why she lied about her existence and her desires. Why she needed nothing more than to feel that needle slide beneath her skin. And once it did, the world melted away and a familiar warmth spread through her. And at once.... It all.... Was fine....
......
Why.... Why she had done this was beyond her. Even as she curled into a comfortable place and pulled out her phone, she couldn't justify it to herself. It could have been for spite, but no... She needed him. It could have been to disappear... But why was she.... No... pain was coming.... That was why...
The texts, back and forth.... Her words flowed through her fingers, to the small device and to him... To him was where she always had run.
'You know that you're the reason I stay... Why I'm stuck here...'
It didn't matter.... she drifted in and out of her small world..... It didn't matter, he didn't care. No matter what she said, he came back with something else. There was no forgiveness.... So angry.... Did he even want her around? Would it be easier like her dear friend had suggested earlier? Would his wound finally heal if she wasn't here constantly? So... Angry....
'I don't care. You are a waste. I do not want you to call me anymore. I do not want to see you. I despise you.'
Tears dropped down her face. But she was not painted crimson, she wasted not a drop of her blood this time... No, April simply cried as her newest heart broke..... Cried as she quietly collected the pieces before the wind that threatened to push out her flame came through....
'Then I won't... You won't hear from me anymore...'
There was hardly a pause before his reply. 'Right.'
It spurred a new courage in her. Something between the where she drifted and where her heart lay seemed to connect and though the pain never dulled, a peace came about her.
'I love you. Nothing will ever change that. I will always be next-door.'
She sat up, wiping away the tears that would not leave. Now she understood the gift... The blood that had been granted to her, if not pushed on. He had been an angel in disguise and she wished dearly that she could thank him. This time her decision would have to come from a clear mind. She didn't need to rely on this opiate cushion or the fog that it pulled her into to mask the pain or give her the courage. And with one breath, one willful push, she could feel the blood push away the cloud and clear her system until it was spent and gone.
April moved from her place, taking only a second to see where her addiction had taken her. It didn't matter. Pulling up the name on her phone, she dialed the number of the man that would be her escape from this place. He answered, warm and calm as he ever was. Nothing would change there, she knew.
“What can I do for you, my dearest?”
“I.... I'm ready to move on. I'm done with Seattle.... There isn't anything left for me here.”
......
She only had a very short time to say goodbye, she knew. But as she pulled from her memory who exactly it was she would have to seek out, she realized that was so few now. There really were only a handful of people that it mattered to anymore. She had truly become irrelevant to this city, and had overextended her stay.
Making her rounds, she was consoled and congratulated at once. Even they had known this would be the right thing to do, though perhaps leaving this world completely would have been a better answer. But she was stuck, that part of moving past things would likely never come for her because there had been little else she knew. This was her existence, this in-between realm, and always would be. But, somehow, she found peace in that. She had finally found her place, though it was not where she had originally planned or desired it to be. It was OK... because she had made it so.
It was the final goodbye that took her by surprise. Her friend had not needed to bring her here, though the fact that he had warmed her opinion of him greatly. In a howl of wind, she found herself standing before the man she had loved for so long. The one who had brought her the greatest joys and pains. Honestly, it was intimidating being before him now. She feared him to spit and ignore her, throwing away her memory for good. But it was simply a fear, she knew better.
Awkward and cold, she watched him look over her friend and apologize to him for infractions from long ago. Watched him make conversation without looking at her. And in every little way it spoke to her; reminding her of days long ago. Then his attention turned.
“So you're leaving.” Again. He didn't need to say it.
“Yes. But I will come back when you want me.”
“Sure Evelyn. Good luck.”
Even though he sounded less than convinced, he didn't argue it. Not really. If anything, and perhaps she had imagined it for her own sake, he sounded a little hurt. She extended a hand to shake his, and was rewarded with a perplexed and slightly frustrated look. Never the less, he took her hand and shook. And didn't let go.
For that moment, she was thrilled. Her heart fluttered and tears welled up in her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. For the longest of moments, an eternity it seemed to her, they stood hand in hand- staring into one another.
She realized, though, that it was time. She had to leave, and this was only the beginning of her spark of hope. But it had proven the most important thing to her, without a doubt. With one last squeeze of his hand, she let go and stepped back. His hand withdrew as though in slow motion.
“Take care of her.” He said, before turning and walking away from them.
It took everything in her not to go chasing after him. In so many ways it felt wrong to watch him walk away from her, as the air around them began to pick up and warm. She knew it would be a long time before she ever saw him again, if she did. That she would only be able to hope for his well being. But in that moment, everything had been right. She would be there for him whenever it was, whether it was his return or his passing. It didn't matter that she was a traitor or that he was one of them. She knew that as angry as he was, as much as she had hurt him or he had hurt her, he truly cared for her. It was all that she could ask for, and all that she would need.
