Smells Like A Rat

[Valerie]

Floating Lantern

Seattle's Anarch Free Press since 1986 • floatinglantern.bloodspot

Smells Like A Rat
1.2.15

Well, this has been an awkward couple of weeks.

There is some news I am late on, but I will mention it here, both out of respect to the loss I must report and for the sake of completeness. At a gathering two weeks ago, Amgrim Svenn attacked Prince Orleans, likely in an unsuccessful challenge for praxis of the Seattle domain. Amgrim did not survive the evening and the Prince himself is believed to be missing. The last time anyone saw him was shortly after the fight, when he was whisked off under the cover of secrecy while hemorrhaging more blood than a slaughterhouse drain pipe.

As one might expect, this has whipped the city up into quite an interesting state. Some of us are laying low, others are concerning themselves with the safety of the Prince, and still others seek to use the discord as a smog under which they can pursue their more brazen goals. The attack and its fallout have also laid bare a couple quite interesting facts, both of which are absolute banner examples of why the Camarilla custom of inherited standing is a terrible metric for judging individual merit, intelligence, credibility or aptitude:

When Amgrim first dashed towards Prince Orleans, his rage and pointy-bits bared, the respected Brujah Harpy Mathias Eberhart found his own best course of action would be to speed off and hide in the corner. He did not choose to defend his Prince by interfering with the fight or subduing Amgrim, as some that many members of the city consider "beneath them" did, nor could he even be bothered to watch and wait. No… the brave, reputable Brujah and Voice of this City ran as far away from the action as he could possibly so that he could most effectively hide beneath the coattails of his clan mates. This news does not shock me, as I am quite familiar with some of the many things that Harpy Eberhart has claimed to be afraid of and I imagine that list is quite a long one. If he truly is the is the author of Camarilla public opinion in Seattle, I regret to inform you that your book is a rather tear stained affair dealing mostly with what things look like in the rear-view mirror while hoping your sire is waiting beyond the shadows to comfort you with man hugs.

More disappointing yet is the fact that this Harpy’s fondness for extorting large favors has now landed on a recently returned Ventrue, Mr. Samuels. In what matter is anyone being extorted, you ask? The presence of Samuels at the gathering, after the Prince had already been well laid open, was evidently such a violation to the Harpy’s delicate nature that he now wants Mr. Samuels to pay the other Brujah for the protection that the Harpy himself sought and received. It’s sort of like paying for the bullet at your own execution, only you’re asking someone to shoot you in the head and the guy footing the bill was just walking by on the way to the bus stop.

After the Prince had been whisked away and the other combatants either withdrawn or unconscious, Former Sheriff Amgrim Svenn met his final demise at the hands of a brand-new arrival to the city: the Brujah Carnifex. While known to be of nearly untouchable esteem within the Camarilla as a result of his peerless brave deeds over many decades, I’ve heard from more than one mouth that the dreadful event was not murderous, but accidental. Amgrim’s destruction was a terrible, totally unforeseeable accident which occurred while Carnifex undertook the completely necessary and prudent work of removing the limbs from the helpless, torpid body which Prince Orleans himself had specifically instructed the Domain to spare. Oh, well. I guess if you can’t get Johnnie Cochran, the magic combination of being way too old to know better but also way too old to question is a good backup plan… even if your name literally means “butcher”.

Another ridiculous scenario, another failed praxis, and another black mark on the “... but the Camarilla is the least violent sect of all!” BINGO sheet.

Now, I've received a new letter... this one allegedly from the absent Prince himself:

From the Desk of Bastion Orleans;

Treasured and revered residents of this grand City of Seattle, events have recently transpired that required our attendance to matters of a personal nature. Having resolved them, we are pleased to announce a formal Court will be held on January 10th.

It seems that our hand has been too lax and this has cause certain cretins to nip upon it. These matters will be rectified. Within this meeting, we will discuss matters of Title within our Court. We will discuss matters of Domain. We will discuss matters of terrible import to our continued prosperity.

Chief among them, Domain will be re-allocated. The following names are retaining their Domains intact:
Harpy Mathias
Keeper Cristiano
Primogen Avalon
Primogen Echo
Alden J. Blethen
Clementine
The Marquis
Vincent Bordeaux
George T Treadwell
Brent Trelawny

If you believe you have been granted Domain by our hand and see not your name above, mayhap you should speak to us with the most expedient alacrity one can muster.

Dictated, but not read:

Bastion Orleans, Prince of Seattle

Here’s where things get sad and interesting, instead of just sad and more sad.

Prince Orleans is very few things at all times, but one of those things is proud. He does very prideful things, sometimes well beyond the point of sensibility, but he always does them with a very pompous sort of public ownership. Why, then, is “he” now a “we?” Has his mind fractured in some strange way? Is the blood that flows within his body now swayed by the will of another? Is this some sort of hostage-negotiation signal, long ago decided upon between him and his local alliances?

This letter also bears interesting discrepancies when compared to the announcements he is alleged to have made in his physical absence, such as the removal of Cristiano Orisha as Keeper to appoint Nosferatu Amelia Devlin-Price. If the Prince is of sound body and mind, I would imagine that first and foremost on said mind is ensuring continuity in his absence through the upper court. I would also imagine he knows who’s on the upper court… assuming that the new placements were ones he made at all.

Even if the Prince does survive, a wise citizen must not rule out the idea that he may come out of his hole a very different man. If it looks like a rat and squeaks like a rat, don't be surprised if it comes bearing plagues.

Valerie

[Victor Vaughn]

Where I come from, we buy rats a nice pair of concrete shoes and then take them swimming.